three kinds of relationships for discipleship

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We believe that the church is called to be a thriving, life-giving community in the world today. Jesus called us to experience abundant life in Him and live a life of purpose for the kingdom of God. This reality motivates us to live a life of relationship with Jesus and in authentic relationship with those in the community of faith as we endeavor to expand the Kingdom of God.

Thrive /THrīv/ verb
• grow or develop well or vigorously.
• prosper; flourish.

In order to Thrive, we must be:
• Centered on Christ
Learning, Living, and Loving Him
• Growing Together
Trusting, Helping, and Healing
• Pursuing His Mission
Focused, Purposeful, Passionate



• ‘THRIV3’ is three different life-giving relationships you seek out
• you will grow together spiritually to become more like Jesus
• you will build trust through honesty and transparency
• you will give and receive love, grace, truth, and healing
• you will form relationships with those far from Jesus

• someone that has followed Jesus longer than you
• someone you respect, admire, and learn from
• someone who motivates you to become more like Jesus
• meet together at least once every other month

We've compiled a small list of questions you could ask one another in these relationships.

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Stories of Thriving


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Conversation Starters

TOP FIVE:  Conversations that are important for all three relationships and could be part of the discussion each time you meet together.

  • What things helped you to keep Christ as the center of your life this week?
  • What did you find in God’s Word this week?
  • How have you experienced God’s love this week?
  • In what ways have you engaged with community this week?
  • How can I pray for you?

Conversations that lead to a deeper love for God 

  • What scripture did you memorize and meditate on this week? 
  • What is your biggest challenge in trusting Jesus through the hard parts of life?
  • What is an area in your life where God might be asking you to trust in His wisdom?
  • Why do you think surrender to God’s way of life is worth it?
  • What holds you back from stepping into obedience?
  • Why is perseverance important in faith? 

Conversations that lead to growth in our own lives. 

  • What’s been your biggest challenge since the last time we met?
  • Were there any specific answers to prayer in your life this week?
  • In your life, what do you fear, or revere, more than God?
  • What areas of your life or heart does pride tend to creep in?
  • Where in your life is God asking you to persevere?
  • What distractions get in the way of you spending time with God?
  • What does it look like to stay faithful in the midst of everyday life? In the midst of suffering?
  • What do you hope your legacy to be?
  • What question are you hoping I don’t ask you?

Conversations that develop a love for others.

  • In what ways were you able to serve or reach out to others this week?
  • Who are you praying for that you can share Christ with?
  • What can hold you back from engaging in community?
  • How can I pray for you?

thriving F.A.Q.

Do I need all three relationships?
Striving to experience all three relationships is essential for life
change and growth. However, if you don’t already have all three of
these relationships, it might be best to start by developing just one
relationship at first. In time, you can then work towards adding the

Can the relationship be a group of people?
These are three relationships not necessarily just three people. For
example, this may especially be true of the SHARING WITH
RELATIONSHIP. You could be part of a community group or Bible
study where several people are sharing life together.

How do I find the people for these relationships?
Start by praying! Ask God for His wisdom in choosing the person
who might be a good fit. Look around at the people God has already
placed around you. For example, someone you’ve noticed at church,
possibly in your community group, or maybe there’s another believer
at work or the gym. Then take action and ask - in person, call, or
even text - to see if they might be willing to meet with you. It could be
as easy as “hey, I would really like to talk to you more about ____
would you be willing to get coffee with me sometime?” Remember
that these are intentional relationships, so it’s important to seek them
out purposefully.

Should I meet with someone of the opposite sex?
No, the purposes of these relationships are more effectively realized
when meeting with someone of the same sex.

What if I can’t find somebody right away?
If somebody doesn’t come to mind right away or if the first person just
doesn’t work out, don’t give up! Relationships take time to build trust
and safety so keep praying and asking God to guide you into these
relationships. Be willing to look outside of your comfort zone and
keep your eyes open for God to be at work. Consider getting
involved in a group or serving capacity in order to connect with

How often should we meet? Where do we meet? How long do they last?
We believe that a regular investment in these relationships is
necessary for development and growth. While there isn’t a specific
formula, a general guideline is to meet together at least once a
month. There are endless possibilities for where to meet and there isn’t one
location that’s better than another. You could begin by meeting at a
coffee shop, restaurant, in your homes, connect on zoom or try an old
fashioned phone call. The key is to keep the conversation focused
on Jesus so we intentionally grow spiritually together.
We believe that, in order to be a person who thrives, these
relationships will always be present in our lives. However, the
duration of those relationships and the people involved can change
over time.

What are some basic guidelines for meeting together?
Be sure to clearly communicate expectations as you begin meeting
together. Discuss details of when, where and how often you will
meet. Three initial visits might be a good place to start and then
encourage an honest conversation about whether or not to continue.
Commit to building trust so the relationship is a safe place to honestly
share real life. For these relationships to thrive it is crucial to uphold
confidentiality and not gossip.
Be willing to allow each other to be authentic and vulnerable about
what’s happening in real life. Encourage, challenge and motivate
each other towards a life that looks more like Jesus while extending
grace, mercy and understanding. Praying with and for each other will
quickly foster a deeper relationship.

What if it isn’t working out?
Sometimes it just isn’t the right fit. It certainly doesn’t mean that
either party is at fault and it doesn’t mean there needs to be a
particular reason. This is why it’s important to set boundaries at the
beginning and encourage honest conversation as you move forward.
If it just isn’t right, simply be grateful for the opportunity, extend grace
and be willing to try again.

I’ve been burned in relationships before, why should I try again?
Because we were created in the image of God, we were created for
relationships and that doesn’t leave because we’ve been hurt. With
prayerful consideration, and coaching this may be the time that it
works. It is okay to be cautious and discerning of who you choose to
connect with; this is a situation you have control of. With prayer, clear
expectations and a trial period you can determine whether a
relationship is developing.

Is there someone I can talk to if I have questions about the process or
problems that come up in a relationship?
Absolutely, we have coaches ready to help. Fill out the form here
and someone will be in contact with you.

Are there resources/materials available to help develop safe, healthy
Yes. We will continue to add
tools for you to use on this webpage, so check back often.